


Stained Glass

by Serpex



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpex/pseuds/Serpex
Summary: War changes people. With the disappearance of the final Titan, the world became a different place. It became a world without fear.But, for some individuals, there were too many memories, too many lives, and too many deaths to move on. Recovery was never merciful nor was life ever enough sustenance.Levi and Hanji were on the verge of a grey chasm that was threatening to swallow them whole whether they were ready or not.





	Stained Glass

The world used to be so much simpler. As brutal as survival was, it was something that kept us somewhat sane, trustful, honest, and alive inside. The war with the Titans was over leaving not a single trace left. The ocean was a new discovery beyond that of any tale, and yet it wasn't completely foreign. We had lakes and rivers before. We had friends, family, and teammates before. We had a life before this one.

Now, everything was hollow and empty. Was this what we meant to strive for?

Levi leaned back as he placed the final glass panel into its slot. He hummed in satisfaction admiring how the sunlight brought warm hues dancing along the floor and leaping across the walls. The stained glass was a good addition.

"Erwin outdid himself with this one. It certainly was a good suggestion back then. We should have listened to him sooner. You think he's making a 'I told you so' kind of face from the heavens?"

"I thought you didn't believe in the afterlife?" I mused. I drank what was left of my coffee and leaned back into the couch. The smaller man shrugged before putting the tools back into its place in the closet.

"I didn't. But, we're here now in an afterlife that I didn't really think could exist. If a future like this exists, then there must be something more after death, too. I... I want to believe it, too." Levi had a point. This laidback lifestyle was welcome compared to what we had. Levi seemed to sense more turmoil within me though. He took off his headscarf and laid it neatly across the table before coming over and cuddling into me. He rested his chin on my shoulder and began to trace my hands. "What's your damage, shitty glasses?"

"I don't know what you mean," I answered.

"Don't play dumb with me. Talk to me." I chewed the edge of my lip as he pressed further. Levi moved so he was now facing me. The deep murky grey of his irises mirrored that of a midnight lake. There's a reflection of me that I could not hide from. After so long, Levi was one of few who could read me better than I could read myself sometimes.

A deep sigh left my throat. It was an eruption that bubbled in the depths of my gut and surged through my lungs churning through my veins and pipes before spewing out of my mouth. My nostrils flared and would have steamed if they could. I suddenly felt irritated. I pushed Levi off for a second only to be pushed back down. I sent him a glare that seemed to only ignite him further. I tried again and found no resistance.

"Don't run from me. Sit," he ordered. I huffed and left the room. He wouldn't follow me.

Not yet.

I ran up to the top of the stone castle. The sun was setting leaving its bleeding rays to spread across the land before descending into its violet blankets and flickering stars. Once, I used to work on days like this under the moonlight and by candle or torch. Moblit and I would go until the sun woke up again. Of course, with the lack of titans, there was no need for research. All of my life's work had already been locked away by the Military Police. It's been months since I've even sketched out a Titan diagram or written a report. It might have been strange, but I kind of missed it. I missed the urgency of the life-death thrill.

But, that was wrong of me, wasn't it? Was it wrong to wish for death? To wish life was different? I wonder. I hated myself for having these thoughts. I should be happy that the reason I was fighting was already over. But, everything felt hollow. I felt like a bird clinging onto the nest that was engraved and woven into the branches of a dead tree.

Footsteps interrupted my thoughts. It was a routine that didn't surprise me anymore. Levi draped a large blanket over me before curling next to me. The fabric seemed to swallow him whole until only his head popped out. He shuddered as he got comfortable trying to find warmth in the cold night.

"You're freezing," he commented. "I'm shocked you can stand it for so long. Almost two hours have passed."

"It doesn't seem too long when I'm out here," I retorted. "I'm sorry for being an asshole earlier. I was just thinking too much."

"Do you want to talk about it now?" I considered his question, but knew myself a little bit better than that. It was a question that irked me, but it would do no good to hide from the only other person living here.

"I can't help but feel empty, Levi. To be blunt, I wish things were like they used to be. Yes, the titans were a threat larger than the life we knew. But, I somehow feel like I knew it more than the life we have now. Everyone was still alive back then. The times we would ride into the wild terrain and make new discoveries gave me a thrill beyond anything recognition. Survival was living. Now, living just feels... Dead."

"I get what you mean. It's hard to let go of all that we held close. The people, the memories, the fear, the trust, and everything that accompanied us: it's all ingrained within us. Moving on isn't an option."

"I miss the hell hole we had."

"Hah, there are so many who would punch you for saying that."

"Would you?" The notion seemed to tempt him as he glanced at me to which I returned with a mocking smile. He tried to keep face, but the corners of his lips pursed trying not to show any hint of joy like the grumpy little gnome he was.

"There are plenty of other reasons to punch you for, shitty glasses," he finally said. "But, we can't change how things are. We must act as the avengers of our fallen brethren. We fulfill what they couldn’t.”

“Like the stained glass?”

“Yeah. Exactly like that. Erwin always wanted to have colored windows like his parents had before they passed on, and he gave up his parents’ estate. So, we made it happen from today forward. We’re kind of like these windows in all honesty.To others we could be the most messed up person in the world or the most perfect. But, in reality we are covered in head to toe in stains. Even so, any stain can be washed away if you stick at it long enough. That’s... That’s all we have to do.”

I burst into laughter before shaking my head. “That was oddly too wise and rich coming from you, Levi. I love that about you.” He punched me lightly on the shoulder only making me howl even more.

“Hey, I’m trying to be empathetic,” he whined. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“Sorry.” I wiped teardrops of my eyes and settled down. I decided to give in and return the cuddles Levi was desperately giving.

“Fucking finally,” he muttered as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Everything will be fine.”

“Yeah... Thank you, Levi. For everything.” He didn’t reply, but the way he massaged circles into my muscles was enough of a response.

Everything would be okay.


End file.
